1. Responding to a joke with the world’s most “heh, okay, please leave me alone” laugh because I just don’t have time to pretend like your shit is funny.

2. Having my already-incredibly low tolerance for loud children on morning public transportation be reduced to a barely concealed rage that includes wishing nothing but stepping on Legos for your children’s day.

3. Turning around in my chair and answering an innocuous question with a tone that screams “What the fuck do YOU want?”

4. Feeling an insatiable hunger for greasy foods, which is really just a deceived body that doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that it hasn’t got its morning burst of drugs.

5. Scarcely hiding the fact that I am falling asleep at my desk every time my back is turned and I’m sure that no one can see my eyes are closed.

6. Having absolutely…