1. The “I Don’t Know Any of These People” Drunk.

Sometimes you get tricked into going to a party because you were convinced that there were going to be, quote, “chill people and good drinks” there. And it’s possible that they are actually chill in some parallel universe, but they clearly reserve their chillness for one another and are not too big on the “let’s integrate the new person into our fold” front. So you basically just hang out by yourself and drink until you are the version of you which bursts into other people’s pretentious conversations and says things like “Ohhhhh myyyyy Godddddd, I totally read books, too, let’s talk about all the big-ass no-picture books we read.” At a certain point, you just resign yourself to the idea that you’ll never see any of these people again, so it’s no big deal if you just force yourself into…