The 7 Most Completely EPIC Fails Of All Time

Thought Catalog

1. When Gilgamesh kills the Bull of Heaven. – Ohhhh my god. How did you even get to be a king?! Clearly there’s no general aptitude test. FIRST of all, idiot, Ishtar sent this beast down at you because you blew her off. Why did you blow off a Goddess? That was your pre-fail fail. Also, maybe next time don’t kill a heaven bull and then let your best friend pay the price. Gilgamesh? More like dildomesh. Yes, I am saying you have the brainpower of a silicone sex toy.

2. When Rama just sits there and lets his wife get abducted. – If I were Sita, I’d be like, “You know what? I don’t care if my husband Rama really IS Vishnu. He sent a vulture to rescue me. A fucking bird! And it died.” I know, that’s pretty surprising considering how often birds are used to protect soldiers in…

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