I’m tired

During a phone call with my dad this evening he pointed out I hadn’t posted in a while. The long and short of it is I am tired. Reaching that point of the semester with teaching/coaching/recruiting that I am exhausted.

So as I sit here on my treadmill getting up the motivation to run I look back a few hours into my day when my girls were so spent that they had to drag themselves out of the water.

I feel as long as I am putting other humans through such tortures I should be no exception.

My legs hurt. My knee is sore as shit. My hip is out of alignment. My back feels like someone took a whip to it. My shoulders are in no way pleasant. And most difficultly my mind is broke at the moment.

But that’s why I have to stand up, go for a run, finish homework, and put some words on the page before I sleep.

My father made sure I was stronger than life. So I run, and as I run I’m reminded of the words of my good friend Tim Smith as spoken as he drug my dying ass on a run around Wilkes-Barre during out masters… “every runner is running toward something or away from it.”

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Stars

Recently I had the chance to look at the stars. This is always a grounding experience for me. There are two lessons I always take from the stars. The first is that when my life feels overwhelming, they remind me how large the universe is and just how insignificant my existence is. When you remember that you are a tiny speck in a wide universe and will pass unnoticed it helps to not stress you haven’t had a chance to mow the lawn in two weeks.

The second lesson I always take from this is that in the time it takes for the light of a star to reach my eye that star may have already lived its full life and has burned out. None of us are going to live forever, but we all can live lives that send our light years into the future, long after we are gone.

So on one hand remember you are insignificant on the other remember you are significant.

Better to have an umbrella

My personality has been commented on a couple times lately and a few pretty cool things came of it.

I’m often mistaken for a pessimist, but as a friend recently said to that endeavor I just accept that the world and people are flawed. I wear my own flaws on my sleeve and I expect things to be flawed. It isn’t that I always see the negative it’s that I don’t expect the world or my life to be perfect.

That conversation lead to another with my adopted little sister which I had a line she said I have to write because it was good, and so here it goes.

I don’t expect every day to be sunny. Some days it is going to rain. I’d rather have an umbrella than a bad attitude.

So remember none of us are perfect. Not me. Not you. Not the world. We all have our flaws. Sometimes it’s gonna rain, but that doesn’t mean it has to ruin your day.

A lesson from poker

Once upon a time I played a good bit of poker. Mostly Texas holdem. For those that don’t know each player has two cards and there are a community of five to make the best hand.

One of the major lessons I learned is that no matter how much you wish or hope you can’t do anything to change the cards.

Your hand is your hand.

Your opponents hand is their hand.

The community is the community.

The only thing that is ever in your control is how you play your hand. Fold, call, raise, meek or strong, bluff or honest. The cards are the last thing in the world that matter, all that truly can change your odds is how you play the hand.

7/2 off suit was always my favorite starting hand, because in Texas that is statistically the worst hand you can be dealt. But I loved it because I knew with that bad deal I could still take down the hand.

So remember you can’t control the deal, but you can control your attitude and actions.

You’re gonna lose more than you win

For the rare few of us winning comes easy at everything they do. Work, school, sports, jobs, love, whatever.

For most of us, myself included, we’re going to lose more than we win. Hell my entire life trajectory has been determined by the fact that I wasn’t a good enough soccer player and got cut.

Today, during my set breaks, I’m struggling hard to touch last week’s weight. I’m tired. I’m sore. And I’m most definitely losing.

But that doesn’t mean we give up the fight. Just because I know that my odds suck of hitting today’s goal, doesn’t mean I won’t fight with everything I have to lose as best I can.

If you can’t win today, at least lose well.

Fear of change

Writing again during set rest so please forgive any typos. Turns out when I’m working out I think about my time with my dad growing up. Likely cause I logged hours upon hours of training with him for Iron Mans and that sorta such.

Today’s lesson is my dad always explained to me that everyone is afraid of change, but you can’t let that fear stop you from doing something.

I see a lot of people in my day to day life paralyzed by this fear. People in unhealthy relationships afraid to leave because the unknown is scarier than staying. People miserable with their day to day work existence. Again easier to stay than leap.

From the time until I was born until retirement my dad worked for 8 different companies(sorry if I miscounted dad) and until the end of his work history most those moves were done with a large factor of uncertainty. He gave up a safe but lower ceiling for a risky but higher ceiling move. Though I’m sure he was stressed over if he’d be able to provide for my sisters and I and make sure he continued to progress forward I never once saw that side.

A lot of times I’ve been debating large moves in my life I’ve consulted with him, and one of the things he usually preaches is make a smart choice but do it quick. The longer you thing the more likely you are to stay where you are.

Had it not been for this instilled trait of accepting fear of change I likely would never have had the stubborn courage to pursue writing and college coaching.(possibly wishes he didn’t do such a good job with this lesson)

But when I came to my current position I interviewed on a Wednesday started on a Monday. I left my state to another one with my car, a sleeping bag, a backpack of clothes, and the stubborn knowledge that if I kept moving forward it would all work out.

So if you’re not happy with your life embrace the fear. Do something new. Take that leap and just keep moving forward. You’ll make it work.