An Open Apology to Ron Swanson

Dear Ron,

A few months ago I did a March Madness inspired bracket for survival team partners in the end of the world. Your name was one of those suggested to me to be placed into the running. I didn’t know who you were at the time, and read about you on wikipedia. Not knowing much else besides you were on Parks and Rec, I didn’t think you belonged, but I put you in anyways.

Watching you fall in the first round to Dr. Jack Shepherd from Lost seemed like the right way for that round of voting to go. However, I recently began watching Parks and Rec, and I want you to know that I am sorry.

I am sorry for underestimating your validity in the end of the world, when I should have been celebrating you as one of the most qualified. You are more of a survivalist than the majority of the sixty-three other candidates, and you are always happy to pass on your knowledge. I imagine your house would already be an ideal fortress in the end of the world, you have the perfect mentality for the Primal Age, and are one of my favorite characters I have seen on TV.

I hope that you will except my humbled apology, and the recognition that you are better suited for the Primal Age than most.

Sincerely,

Justin

pyramid-jumbo1

Advertisement

Survival Team Smack Down

The Primal Age Survival Team Smack Down

boxing (2)

The dust has settled and the winner crowned. So, now that is over, who wants to do it again? Or join in for the first time? To check out the rules of the brackets and see if you would be interested in competing click here. 

Short version, all of you out there select 64 contestants for the person who you would want to take with you into the end of the world. They can be any fictitious character. An amendment to the selection process will be that anyone nominated who survived beyond the opening two rounds of the last bracket can not be entered into the second bracket. However, if this keeps building steam I wouldn’t be opposed to doing a tournament of champions down the line.

So, for now I am just looking to see if there is interest. Please comment below if you would like to join the ranks.

And the Winner is…

Primal Age Survival Team Smack Down

The winner of the Primal Age Survival Team Smack Down is: Heather Kassab, with a long shot come from behind win. She picked the right horse to bet on and rode Jason Bourne through the tournament for the victory clinched in the final duel. Congrats though to Ryan McCormick for holding the lead for all but the final round of the tournament. An overall impressive finish for the top three who came in by one point differences.

Final Standings

Name          Round                   Total                     

Heather               22                           61

Ryan                      0                              60

Brady                    10                           59

Mike                      0                              50

SomeIdiot           18                           49

Eric                         4                              47

Ross                       0                              46

Mario                    0                              42

Krista                     0                              39

Diane                    4                              39

boxing (2)

Final

Final Duel

Boys with Toys vs. More than Meets the Eye

This one is for all the marbles folks. In a turn that I didn’t foresee the final two divisions are Boys with Toys and More than Meets the Eye. I will be leaving the voting open all weekend. On Monday I will announce the winner. Happy voting.

Jason Bourne from The Bourne Ultimatum vs. Dr. Jack Shepherd from Lost

Jason Bourne is a professional assassin and covert operative. He is well trained in hand to hand combat, as well as firearms. His knack for reading a situation and escaping definite capture would lead to avoiding hairy situations. The man can calculate everything about a fight and notices every detail of a room.

Jack Shepherd plays a key role in the survival of his fellow survivors in the immediate aftermath of the crash, instructing others to help those with injuries and using his medical background to assist the wounded. The survivors look to Jack as their leader. He has the ability to think quickly and analyze crisis situations. Jack intentionally represses fear and anxiety, usually in order to remain strong for other people, as he is the one they turn to during crises. He does this to not give his fellow survivors false hope. (From Wiki)

Deadly Duels

Deadly Duels

Only Round

Before I get into the usual format of this and allow everyone to vote, let me just take a moment to applaud the Fight Four. They are the top four from a tough set of 64 competitors. To get to this point sixty other contenders had to be found unworthy. Who will take the title though? That is up to you.

Slayers vs. Boys with Toys

Wichita from Zombieland vs. Jason Bourne from The Bourne Ultimatum

Wichita is a shotgun wielding vixen, who has plenty of practice at dropping the undead. Prior to surviving in a zombie infested world she was a masterful conwoman, and brought that survival skill with her into Zombieland. She is also a skilled driver.

Jason Bourne is a professional assassin and covert operative. He is well trained in hand to hand combat, as well as firearms. His knack for reading a situation and escaping definite capture would lead to avoiding hairy situations. The man can calculate everything about a fight and notices every detail of a room.

BAMFs vs. More than Meets the Eye

King Leonidas from 300 vs. Dr. Jack Shepherd from Lost

King Leonidas knows how to rule a military society. He leads from the front lines, and is a hardened veteran of war. He is skilled with a spear and sword.

Jack Shepherd plays a key role in the survival of his fellow survivors in the immediate aftermath of the crash, instructing others to help those with injuries and using his medical background to assist the wounded. The survivors look to Jack as their leader. He has the ability to think quickly and analyze crisis situations. Jack intentionally represses fear and anxiety, usually in order to remain strong for other people, as he is the one they turn to during crises. He does this to not give his fellow survivors false hope. (From Wiki)

 

 

Fighting 4 Round 2

Fighting 4

Round 2

More than Meets the Eye

Dr. Jack Shepherd from Lost vs. Private Daniel Jackson from Saving Private Ryan

Jack Shepherd plays a key role in the survival of his fellow survivors in the immediate aftermath of the crash, instructing others to help those with injuries and using his medical background to assist the wounded. The survivors look to Jack as their leader. He has the ability to think quickly and analyze crisis situations. Jack intentionally represses fear and anxiety, usually in order to remain strong for other people, as he is the one they turn to during crises. He does this to not give his fellow survivors false hope. (From Wiki)

Pvt. Jackson “What I mean by that, sir, is if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler… with a clean line of sight… Pack your bags, fellas. War’s over. Amen.” He is an exceptional World War II sniper who fought through DDay, so you know he can handle himself in the worst possible situation imaginable.

Slayers

Wichita from Zombieland vs. Robert Neville from I Am Legend

Wichita is a shotgun wielding vixen, who has plenty of practice at dropping the undead. Prior to surviving in a zombie infested world she was a masterful conwoman, and brought that survival skill with her into Zombieland. She is also a skilled driver.

Robert Neville knows how to survive as the last man alive. He is an excellent shape and is a military man. He is an excellent driver, and also a scientist. (This is a tricky one for me because I am not sure if I should use the book or film version, so pick the one you’d rather)

 

Fighting 4 Round 1

Fighting 4

Round 1

BAMFs

Maximus from Gladiator vs. King Leonidas from 300

Maximus was a General in the Roman army, and then became a champion gladiator who stood against a tyrannical emperor. He is exceptional with a sword and on horseback as well as a natural leader.

King Leonidas knows how to rule a military society. He leads from the front lines, and is a hardened veteran of war. He is skilled with a spear and sword.

Boys with Toys

Jack Bauer from 24 vs. Jason Bourne from The Bourne Ultimatum

Jack Bauer has been America’s defender on 8 different intense days. He was a member of Delta Force where he specialized in infantry operations, and received Ranger, Air Assault, and Airborne Training. He is highly proficient with firearms, explosives, and a number of languages. Also is capable of flying planes and helicopters.

Jason Bourne is a professional assassin and covert operative. He is well trained in hand to hand combat, as well as firearms. His knack for reading a situation and escaping definite capture would lead to avoiding hairy situations. The man can calculate everything about a fight and notices every detail of a room.