Nada compliment or a compliment

“You’re a bridge. Women date you and they go from where they are to where they need to be” sort of a more poetic version of good luck chuck I suppose. True or false I’m not quite sure, insult or not, I’m also not sure. But it is a statement I take some pride in as I try to think it means I have a positive difference in the lives of those I date and help them find their way to the people they need to be for the right person(that or I’m such a horrendous partner that after me they will settle for anything)

Advertisements

Fear of change

Writing again during set rest so please forgive any typos. Turns out when I’m working out I think about my time with my dad growing up. Likely cause I logged hours upon hours of training with him for Iron Mans and that sorta such.

Today’s lesson is my dad always explained to me that everyone is afraid of change, but you can’t let that fear stop you from doing something.

I see a lot of people in my day to day life paralyzed by this fear. People in unhealthy relationships afraid to leave because the unknown is scarier than staying. People miserable with their day to day work existence. Again easier to stay than leap.

From the time until I was born until retirement my dad worked for 8 different companies(sorry if I miscounted dad) and until the end of his work history most those moves were done with a large factor of uncertainty. He gave up a safe but lower ceiling for a risky but higher ceiling move. Though I’m sure he was stressed over if he’d be able to provide for my sisters and I and make sure he continued to progress forward I never once saw that side.

A lot of times I’ve been debating large moves in my life I’ve consulted with him, and one of the things he usually preaches is make a smart choice but do it quick. The longer you thing the more likely you are to stay where you are.

Had it not been for this instilled trait of accepting fear of change I likely would never have had the stubborn courage to pursue writing and college coaching.(possibly wishes he didn’t do such a good job with this lesson)

But when I came to my current position I interviewed on a Wednesday started on a Monday. I left my state to another one with my car, a sleeping bag, a backpack of clothes, and the stubborn knowledge that if I kept moving forward it would all work out.

So if you’re not happy with your life embrace the fear. Do something new. Take that leap and just keep moving forward. You’ll make it work.

Mediocre

Been a while folks…I’m still here…with my return from the shadows I’ve got a lesson from my father.

I was going through a lot of decision making this summer and my dad as always was a primary sounding board.

One day though he gave me a nice reminder.

He told me he didn’t care what I was, a coach, a teacher, a writer, sales rep, or anything but he didn’t raise me to be mediocre.

I was always taught that if I’m going to do something I out work everyone else at it. Better to not do something than to not do it well.

That reminder that mediocre isn’t in my genetic make up was the kick in the ass I needed to get back into the fight of life.

So as I write this post between sets in the weight room before I go to teach, I challenge all you not to be mediocre today. Step up to whatever challenges come looking for you today.

I’m lucky

Sorry folks I know I’ve been quiet for a bit but I had a firework mishap on Memorial Day that has kept me off a computer.

I’m lucky it was just burns and not something worse. I’m lucky I have a job that doesn’t require much use of my hands. I’m lucky I have bosses that are understanding. I’m lucky I was the only one hurt. I’m lucky I have a sister for a nurse. I’m lucky I have friends(and a girlfriend) who were willing to help me until I was two handed again. I’m lucky I have two hands.

I’ve always said I’m at my best when things are going wrong. I can scramble and survive better than most. Or my usual mantra of I’m invincible.

What I’ve noticed I’m not as good at is finding the positive in the good times. So I’m going to challenge not just myself but the rest of the chicken littles out there to take that same spin control positivity and apply it to the good parts of their life as well.

More weight

Overall I don’t remember much about the Crucible, but I do remember one part and that is when the one man is being crushed under the rocks and instead of confessing he says “more weight”.

Salem university Women’s water polo coach

Salem university men’s water polo assistant coach

Full time English professor(double load whenever possible)

Academic support tutor

Managing editor of Oddities

Writer of the Primal Age Chronicles

Freelance anything people will pay me for

So let’s add student to the list. Just completed the first class for my MBA.

Or in other words bring it on life, more weight!

Crossing bridges

Sometimes in life we have to look long term. But more often than not we don’t. One great piece of stress comes from trying to cross bridges before we get to them.

You never know how your course may change and if that bridge will even still be on your path when the time comes or if you’ll have to cross an entirely different bridge.

So remember to enjoy where you are, and enjoy the journey, and don’t worry about crossing a bridge until you have to set foot onto it.

Whatever you do…just dance

So I normally do lessons from my father. Forgive some latitude as I take it back a generation to my grandfather, Pete senior.

Around a decade ago I had a college social to attend with an out of town significant other. That out of town was Bloomsburg which is where my grandparents lived. Being a starving college kid there were few things better than a home cooked meal from your grandmother so I took the time to go see them for lunch.

While we sat there and I tried to awkwardly explain a college track team social as if it was a high school dance and not a bunch of college kids getting dressed up to drink(which I realize now they likely saw right through) my grandfather seemed relatively uninterested in the story.

But then he leaned over the table and with a stern finger pointed at me said, “whatever you do…”

At this point there’s a number of ways this can go not one of my predictions was right though.

…”just dance. Make sure you dance because if you don’t dance you’re no one.”

Now my grandfather ran his own junkyard his entire life. Like many of his generation a tougher man than I can ever hope to be.

Just dance.

After I brought my jaw up from the floor and listened to him and my gram debate dancing today vs dancing now his attention came back to me.

“Your girl wants you to dance. She wants you to be part of something. If you don’t dance you’re nothing.”

This talk has always stuck with me. And I wish I could say at that moment the light bulb went off and I never sat out another dance the rest of my life. But I’ve sat out a number of dances in my life, a number of experiences, all because I was afraid to be a fool. Worried about how I’d look to others.

The older I’ve got, the more mistakes I’ve made, the wiser I’ve become.

But I understand those words now in my life more than ever. Be in the moment. Be part of life. Be something.

And don’t forget to dance.

You only get one story

One of my favorite things about writing is that you don’t have to get the story right the first time. You have editing and revision and everything else to beat it into shape.

In life we aren’t that lucky. I was discussing an internal debate with a friend of mine about if they should move on a crush of theirs or not.

After I posed some positive and negative outcomes they admitted the biggest regret would be if they waited and the window closed and they had to watch their crush with someone else.

In matters of the heart waiting is never the right option. That’s not to say it will always go the best way, but better to fail trying and not carry that regret. I’m not advocating disobeying logic fully but we have gut feelings for a reason.

I met my Engf on the night of March 10th, practically midnight. By the morning of March 12th my only course of action was to go all in because it was the only option that I had that I wouldn’t have regrets with.

You only get one life. No rewrites. You can only affect the story going forward. So make it what you want. Not what could have been.

Spartan

Growing up my dad was s triathlete, and if you’ve read some of my earlier lessons from my father you’ll know young me trained beside him. I was well outside the ranges an average seven year old would do.

I was able to do this because my dad convinced me I could. Usually it went something along the lines of you’re a Kassab and we descended from x which makes us stronger than y. Or you’re a machine/animal. So of course I could do more than the a stage human.

One of the greatest feats of will I ever witnessed was my dad did the Floridian Ironman in just under 12 hours, put me, my sisters and mom in our station wagon and drove straight back to Pennsylvania.

These things remind me now in my graying age that I can still achieve beyond my potential as long as I have the will to do it. The only thing that can ever stop me is myself.